This is not my ceiling
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
