You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
