She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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