I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
