Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize