the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
