I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
