This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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