hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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