Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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