I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
