you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
