just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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