Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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