I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I don't think brook has ever known best
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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