what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
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