I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
