we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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