Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I am midnight drunk by noon
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
