"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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