Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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