I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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