Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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