oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
