i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize