did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Randomize
