is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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