yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
