It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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