If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
