What did we do last night that was yellow?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
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