He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
