dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
