I am puke
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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