is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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