Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
