And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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