i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize