somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
