OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
