i would punch a child for taco bell
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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