she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
