I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
