'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
