We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
