he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
