If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize