just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
