Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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