I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
