I just cut my nipple shaving
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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