I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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