how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
