Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
