My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
