so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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