hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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