I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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