He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
