GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Randomize
