2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
