who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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